Dear Hack Schlock,

 

Be my Valentine. I appreciate your unquenchable thirst and relentless hunger.  I know you think you are failing, that what you do is never enough. I know you feel like you should be doing a much better job at all those things that are most important to you.  The things we love most we can never serve enough, we want a perfection for them that’s unobtainable because nothing is perfect. Your imagination is just so good that reality always pales in comparison, with its endless variables and unpredictable circumstances foiling all your plans and refuting your best guesses. I understand that there’s not enough time. I know you want so much more and think you should be further along.  You may fear it’s too late and you missed your chances for your dreams to come true.  Are you in pain from desire?  I know it hurts.  This is a Valentine for you. Even though you don’t always love you, I do.   I don’t judge you because sometimes the sunset just isn’t enough to make you feel lucky.  Blame Love!  Love is an armed masked thief.  I want to remind you that Love causes all our problems, Love makes us care so much, Love makes us worry.  Love is the main root from which you are sprung!  All the turmoil comes from the immensity of the passion.  There’s a lot of LOVE in the big mess and it’s the grand prize.  The grand prize is a stab in the heart, that pang that rings through your life like an echo that’s become a ghost, haunting you.  Love is that cruel hope that keeps you standing, just to get knocked down again.  The grand prize is heartache.  The pain of love is a badge, is a trophy, is a certificate stating you are alive and playing; you are alive and winning sometimes, and losing, and getting lost and finding. You have made a huge mess, a huge and beautiful mess, and I’m learning from you and I LOVE you.  You Love, are an act of love and I love you and your love, heartbreaking heartbreaker, tearing me apart, this woe is what we win, and there’s what comes before… and after.  This is the human experience.  I think you’re amazing.

 

XOX Jane

The Ropes

 

First time I was tied up with rope

Was in 3rd grade, he was in 4th

Playing Good Guys vs. Bad Guys

In the woods after school

Who was which never really mattered

Just whatever team you were on

We all took the same bus home

 

Stored props in forts we built we kept

Bottles, ropes, rocks, spade, scrap

Chasing, laughing, hiding

Andrew caught me, drew me in

Panting, out of breath, red with life

Sweat beading diamonds suspended

In his dark velvety crew cut

 

Our respective teammates scattered

He focused, I fought until I just wanted

To catch my breath he put me up against a tree

Clumsily wrapped the rope around me

My hands behind, shoulders pinned, legs bound

Tight and rough it fit a pinching breath

He finished the length of rope, I was tied

 

He halted to stare at his handiwork

I stayed quiet, sure I would escape

What next?  I squirmed, he pressed

His body against mine so curious

Racing hearts, his breath quick as mine

Touched my skin, our pink cheeks close

Then his tongue against my face

 

Puppy-like, spontaneous, gleeful

Exposed skin all licked, my neck, my hands

Eyes wide in wonder, smell of his spit on my face

A familiar human perfume

Almost comforting, sweet

As if surprised he stopped, laughed, ran away

I waited in the silence of the heat afterward

 

How the licked spots felt cool

Tightness on the skin there

Every day something new happens

The ropes get shown

A time line fills with knots

Recording, that which releases

Binds

 

Jane LeCroy

 

 

There It Is, That’s That

 

I’ve been in the woods at night

with a bottle of Jack and a beautiful girl,

I know what it’s like to be on top of the world;

been there a few times that’s why I stay,

I know it will be mine again someday.

 

Jane LeCroy

 

How to be a Pioneer of Love

 

Expand the heart, love more

Practice love in secret

Publicly proclaim love

Love as much as you can

Do whatever it takes to experience love

Say yes to love every time it offers itself to you

Take Cupid’s poisonous arrows

Incorporate that poison into everything you do

Reject belief in a limited capacity of the human heart

Never try to own another

Never let yourself be owned

Worship and adore as many as you can

Open your body and mind to lovers

Suffer the consequences

Give yourself away

Cry, laugh, orgasm, act on your dreams

Reject the impossibility

Revel in the rebellion

Tear apart the fabric of society

Recognize your broken heart, accept pulverization

Accept failure and loss and triumph

Break more, fail more, lose more, triumph more

Live & love until there’s nothing left of you

Write all the love-letters you can

Seduce seduce seduce & be seduced

Conduct the electricity that is the life pulse

Don’t deny yourself Earthly pleasures

Give yourself permission to love to death

Because we’re all going to die

& before we die, we can love

Fall in love often, stumble, trip, CRUSH

Even though it beats you the hardest

Wrecks you and leaves you in shambles

All we have are shambles

Everything is an illusion, so what?  Then illusions are enough

Love mortifies you, it enslaves and sets you free

You will rise again

Practice rejecting possessiveness

Banish jealousy, try and try

Loving adds more meaning to every action every day

It makes every hour worth more than 60 minutes

Fit more living into your life by playing on the frontier of love

Be shot down and destroyed

Be exalted and praised

You cannot protect yourself even if you live hiding

You will suffer the consequences of love

So just stand up and love

There is a math & physics beyond this defined realm

There are no maps but what your lover’s hair draws upon your skin

It is always changing

The roads and cities shift like the surface of the unknowable ocean

Let this terrify you, be terrifying

Join this army

Set examples

On fire

               -Jane LeCroy

 

 

The Best Pick-Up Line I Ever Heard

 

I was young and beautiful

Jerked around by subway's massive rhythm

Most handsome boy watching me from across the car

Bookish, glasses, lean, sharp features, strong jaw

Humble clothes, simple but unique in presentation

His eyes ate me up, black pupils kissing me all over

He drew me in his mind, I was convinced I was there

Finally after much fidgeting, I returned his gaze

Powerfully rejecting common subway etiquette

I stared back, let my eyes rest on him

 

We came to his stop

Door opened with its melody

Breaking our trance

Before he slipped out he came

To me, seated opposite his exit

Quickly he leaned in, extended his hand giving

Me a piece of candy

"You just look so sweet, have a piece of candy.

I work at Union Square Barnes & Noble."

He darted through the doors

 

I was swallowed, peristalsis

Subway moves through the bowels of the city

Enveloped by the tunnel of love

I accept its darkness

For a week I thought of him, unable to distract myself

From his tiny bit of sugar, his thrust toward me

Before the doors shut him from his destination

How he managed to lure me

To the enormous bookstore

Hungrily combing the floors, the isles

 

Determined to find him

I must have emoted a plea

Another employee asked,

"Can I help you find what you're looking for?"

"Yes. Not a book but a person who works here."

"Oh." He replied exasperated,

"Did he give you a piece of candy?

Ah yes, he works in Fantasy, will be here at 2.”

Madly impressed, I left

Now, only kind-of looking for him

                               Jane LeCroy

 

 

 

The Cloud

 

Have you seen the weather report?

Global warning, the future is here

Do you have any information?

There is that new cloud on the horizon

Looming over all of us

It is made of everything

It is The Cloud

It is not pillow soft with its jet streams of data

It is a shape changer, stare at it long enough

You can kind-of see whatever you want

It is binary rain, digital snow, wireless wind

It is alphabet soup in every language

Annotated with pictures

It is that giant hard disk drive in the sky

Transmit yourself!

You drift right through

It cannot hold you

Find things out, store things, share things

All things, except for those you can touch

You cannot own it

It will change everything

It is doing it already

There are no umbrellas for this type of storm

Try and pack your Faraday bag forever

Can you work without connecting to a network?

The Cloud is our collective revisionist memory

It will not forget you

It will re-member you

 

            -Jane LeCroy